April 1, 1961
My Dear Fredrick
This is Easter Monday everyone is out excepting myself, I feel solitary and alone my mind is filled with ten thousand conflicting feelings which I dare not give utterance Sometimes I think shall I ever be happy again, & answer the question by saying no never, never, never, when I look at the lonely friends & the vacant chair, & think the one that made all happy is gone forever, & if for a moment my mind catches at any thing like pleasure the thoughts of the absent one return, & banishes every thing but that fatal rememberance, that sorrow that throws.
Its bleak shades alike, or’e our joy, and our woes, I feel sometimes as if I could never live here again, I feel as if I had a twofold word that binds me in the spot, one is every thing reminds me of my dear departed husband & the other the promise I made him never to give up my home, I felt much happier with you dear grandmother & my relatives than I do here & say to her as soon as I arrange my business matters I shall return to her & my household. Virginia is quite a comfort to me, say to you dear Mother she would be surprised to see how pleasant & amiable she is & so long as she is as satisfied & happy as she now is; I shall be glad for her to remain with me & do everything in my power to keep her so, she has been going to church for the last two weeks every day; Mr Platt & Mr Gibson had called on her, Also the Egertons Charltan & Cooper, as yet she had paid but few visits, to use her expression, she says she is wating for fund to rig out; every thing here in the political matters appear to be quiet at this time, I think Virginia is too slow I really am mortified at my native state, but still hope she will go with the south, that seems to be the opinion of our most intelligent citizens, for my part I don’t see how any one that has an aspirations for freedom can submit to Lincoln government.
I felt very sorry that I was absent when you passed through our city, shall always be pleased to see you. I received a letter from Victoria Gasquet yesterday saying Mr Marshall was with them & Cousin Robert had gone after his Daughter Alice. I hope they will give us a call, I expected sister Emily & felt very much disappointed she did not come, It appears Cousin Robert does all the traveling. I have suffer very much from cold since my return & have had the rheumatism so bad in right wrist that I can scarcely write indeed it made quite sick for several days. Say to Waverly I have sent him those papers he requested & have several other letters but none of any more importance than those, & will also write him in a few days.
I hope you go after to see your Dear grandmother & think of her daily & am glad every day that passes as it bring me nearer to her, we have only heard once from Sue, yesterday & received a letter from your Uncle Watkins all well write me soon & say where your sister is going to school say to your dear mother she must write me for my mind is so bewildered sometimes I cannot write your friends & acquaintances are all well & acquire after you I have nothing new to communicate will try & write you a better letter next time so farewell, Ginnie joins with me in much love to her grandmother Your mother brothers & sis is with you
Farewell your ever affectionate aunt
E. E. White